The first time I saw you, I knew I was with the wrong friend. Your smile set my pussy on fire. The smile that was so rare, it was always radiant. And yet, it was too complicated, too messy to be with you
Despite all the time I spent alone with you. Despite the fantasy I played over and over in my head.
You were giving me my weekly Arabic lessons telling me over and over again to watch your mouth. I only saw your tongue move up and down and dreamt I was sitting on your face while you went through every letter and sound.
I would go home to a fantasy of you bending me over from behind grabbing my hair telling me how wet I was in three languages and afterwards I used my tongue to make you cum three times being the good student I was.
I used to sneak glances at you getting ready, shirtless and look at the trail on your stomach. I imagined my head resting there after we both let go of two years of built up anticipation.
Maintaining pleasantries in public when I just wanted to feel your lips on my nipples biting hard and wrap my hands around your dick so I could ride it and let you feel my come all around the hair on your balls.
But I was married to your best friend. Messy married and a mistake since I didn’t have the power or courage to face that it was always easier with you. You were a mirror to my conscious showing me that I was running headlong into a wall through my own misplaced insecurities.
It was you I fantasized about when my bed was empty save for the warm Hitachi and my fingers on my nipples.
But your loyalty went all Lou Gerhig ice challenge all over my pussy leaving me only with dreams of your smile and longing to touch you. To hold your hand and see what made you laugh.
I knew it wasn’t lack of desire since I saw the the way you looked at me and saw how you wanted me. I wondered if you played with yourself thinking of me bent over the counter of your job while you are behind me whispering telling me to squeeze you from the inside even harder.
Was it fear? Fear of exploring each other and because I broke through barriers you had up for years?
One last effort to try…
Wandering & Wondering 